Tips to Make Wearing an Elizabethan Collar Easier

After watching our pup, Butch, wear his cone of shame around the house and yard I have accumulated a few tips for any that are forced to do the same thing.

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Tips to Make Wearing an Elizabethan Collar (Also known as a Cone of Shame.) Easier

1.  Always Bark with an Inside Voice – I have witnessed Butch get excited over a Fed Ex delivery and let out a ferocious bark.  But only once…it seems that the cone creates a bit of an echo that intensifies all noises.  The cone causes these sounds to bounce around your ears.  The result is deafening.

2.  When walking in the snow keep your head up. Otherwise you’ll accidentally scoop snow into your cone, where it will chill your neck.  Unfortunately without opposable thumbs you cannot untie the cone and free yourself of this very uncomfortable feeling.

3.  Do not wake suddenly and stand on the couch, where you have been allowed to recuperate after surgery, and bark ferociously in a very disjointed manner, due to the affects of the anesthesia not having worn off.  This kind of craziness combined with wearing a strange white cone around your head scares other dogs who may charge aggressively in response to your sudden outburst.  This kind of behavior will require your owner to relegate all the other dogs to the basement, so as to make sure you don’t end up in a tumble with them and blow out a stitch.

4.  Similar to holding your head up in the snow, do not allow canned dog food to fall off the spoon into your cone, when your master gives you a treat (which really holds your pain killer and antibiotic in disguise).  If you do allow a bit to dribble free no position you contort your body into will allow your tongue to reach your neck, where it rests.  However your efforts to retrieve it, will prove very entertaining to your owners.

And above all…

5.  Stay Cool!  – Do not let the dogs in the yard or next door know that you are scared stiff because you have no peripheral vision and you are constantly walking into things with the edge of your cone.  Add to that your inability to distinguish where sounds are coming from, although they are greatly amplified, and you are pracitcally crippled and open for any and all attacks.  So strut, hold your coned head high and pretend that you got this, baby!

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